Nut Ink. Mini reviews of texts old and new. No fuss. No plot spoilers. No adverts. Occasional competency.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Official Final Fantasy VII Strategy Guide (1997)

Author: David Cassady | Page Count: 223

"Thanks to everyone for trying their hardest
to make this the best book possible."

Umm....

I purchased this guide the same day my dad spontaneously decided that it was time for us to get a Playstation. He was going to buy one over Christmas, but he really wanted to play Nascar 98 with his friends (I know, I know). Ergo, we had an impromptu spending spree. It’s a memory I will always cherish. I still have the games, this guide, and Smash Mouth’s Fush Yu Mang. Let’s see how this holds up.

Like the game itself, there are a number of typos. Unfortunately, this bleeds into the very way the guide is structured. They set out to label the entrances and exits of each game-screen with numbers. Except, sometimes, they forgot to include the exit number from the previous picture on the next picture, as an entrance number. Further, based on the sidebars, they initially intended to label items with letters. However, in the text, they refer to event locations and NPCs by letters, as well. Eventually, they start referring to significant buildings that way, too. In one instance, there are similar pictures of the same screen, and the second one, on the next set of pages, is labeled, but not the one that exists beside the relevant text. Some things referred to in the text by a letter seemingly correspond to screen-shots that were not ultimately included.

At one point, the use of letters to denote shops, treasure chests, NPCs, and entrances(!) AT THE SAME TIME results in a gigantic confusing mess. There are ‘A’s as far as the eye can see on those pages, in addition to the usual numbers!

The ways they managed to screw up the labels in this book are a little bit awe-inspiring.

The explanation of one puzzle in particular is almost perfectly made more confusing by one word utilized therein. It's so acutely wrong that it seems intentional. The Chocobo raising guide is a nice starting point for understanding how to create the special types, but if you want detailed specifics (I.e., you have better things to do with your life than endlessly experiment with breeding birds), go find a dedicated FAQ. The lists in the back of the book were compiled by someone other than Cassady. One thing that he stopped short of spoiling in the text, is spoiled in a list. Communication, guys. Communication.

Nice pieces of official artwork are used, but outside of the stock character art, they are universally desaturated, lowered in contrast, and exist only as backgrounds that are barely visible. Why bother? A piece of Vincent is used for every set of pages covering the Side Quests. Consequently, the top of every left-oriented page has black text on a black portion of the background. It’s barely legible. There are errors in the bestiary entries, and some are entirely blank of data. Some enemies present in certain areas are not listed beside those sections of the text, only in the dedicated appendix. I suppose they included only as many as they had space for on the cramped pages. In several places, they include a gaggle of FMV caps when they could have used that space for appropriately rendered artwork.

I don’t know why enemy skills are not prioritized in these guides. Yes, most are gimmicky and you’ll never use them, but a few are always virtually essential. I like how they’re mentioned after-the-fact, here, when they’ll be useful, not when you can actually learn them. That's sarcasm, folks. Some of them are entirely missable.

If you’re willing to ignore the screenshots and just read the text, you will be MOSTLY fine, but you shouldn’t have to. They are a crucial part of an endeavor such as this. In a world of FAQs, the pictures and artwork are the only selling point of these guides, for most consumers. An author’s approach, their humor and elaboration, can also bring purpose and life to them, but this one is written in the most basic way possible. It fails to have any significant, lasting purpose.

Everyone at Brady Games should have tried harder. Unlike Olafson, who mostly only suffered from the lack of information inherent to being a Westerner, writing in the year VI was released, Brady Games failed to properly visually lay out the (mostly correct) information (and artwork) they actually had at their disposal. The blame falls squarely on their heads.

If you want a comprehensive FAQ that has wit and verve, I recommend Absolute Steve's.

½-Assed, At Best out of 5

Nutted by NEG.