George's Marvellous Medicine (1981)

Author: Roald Dahl  |  Illustrator: Quentin Blake  |  Page Count: 96

'She had pale brown teeth and a small puckered-up mouth like a dog's bottom.'

I can barely remember what I did yesterday afternoon, but I can recall easily the first time I read about George Kranky's Marvellous Medicine. I was aged ten. It was a long time ago. Four separate classes in the school I attended (and loved) were gathered together in one room for an important presentation. I never did find out what was so important because soon after arrival I shuffled my way to the back left corner of a sea of cross-legged children on the floor, hid myself within the maelstrom as best I could, opened up the book and started to read. None of the teachers noticed and after a few minutes I forgot they even existed.

It's a short book with a simple plot. George's mother goes to town, leaving the eight-year-old at home with his grandmother. George hates his gran, but being the only one other than her in the house means he's now responsible for administering the old girl's daily dose of medicine. Instead of her regular brown medicine in a boring bottle, George decides to make his own concoction.

The adult part of me was screaming about how irresponsible it all was, especially when he reached the garden shed, but the part of me that still enjoys that kind of freedom was rubbing his hands together wickedly and sniggering way too much.

If you've ever wanted to write for children then there’s no better teacher than Dahl. Marvellous Medicine certainly isn't his best work, but he doesn't waste a single word and once the story really kicks off it doesn't stop, so there's still something to be learned from it.

George's father is a fun character. I'd never really considered his point of view before. Nor that of the chickens. I felt sorry for them. They get a bad enough deal as it is having a tiny brain, not being able to fly and being tasty when cooked.

Young children will have a blast picturing all the weird ingredients, while adults will recognise how significant events change everyone who partakes or witnesses them, even the people that don't take the medicine.

3 spoonfuls of alternative sugar out of 5

The Extra Ordinary Life of Frank Derrick, Age 81 (2014)

Author: J.B. Morrison  |  Page Count: 304

'He already had his free TV licence and bus pass.  Even though there was nothing on television and nowhere to take the bus to.'

J.B. Morrison is Jim Bob, who at one time was half of the phenomenally semi-successful music act Carter USM. I admit it was entirely due to my love for the band’s music that I checked out Frank Derrick. The clever word play in the title made me wonder prior to reading if we would see a return to the fiery satire of Jim Bob’s lyric writing style, or if it would more closely resemble the deeply poignant feelings of abandonment that 'Granny Farming in the UK' gave rise to. The text is neither; or rather it’s both but filtered through a more subtle and sensitive screen door. It's comedy with a thoughtful slant that's sweet but never artificial.

Frank of Fullwind-on-Sea is a cynical duffer with a healthy distrust of others. He's an active sort who frequents the charity shops and buys crap he doesn't need. He looks upon the curtain-twitchers in his neighbourhood with disdain, but often his vantage point is from behind his own twitching curtain. When an accident lessens Frank's independence some home-help is arranged. He resents the idea completely, fearing the worst: she'll treat him like a child; she'll steal his life savings! But Frank had been wrong about people before. Who's to say...?

Jim Bob's style is descriptive and wry. His sentences frequently take lengthy strides when a shorter, more direct approach could've conveyed the same information more succinctly. They're rambling, some might say, but I'm a rambler, too, so it wasn't a problem for me. I actually liked it; it showed that he was being honest with himself and his readers, not trying to mimic another's style. He wisely litters comedy throughout, instead of always holding back for a killer punchline.

The only thing I really disliked was the half a dozen movie spoilers. They were old movies and their inclusion was relevant to Frank's tragic situation, but that's no excuse. They were spoilers no matter how you spin it. Speaking of which, if the book was to be filmed it would most likely be an indie, suitable for the likes of HandMade Films, and in a perfect world it would star Michael Caine.

3½ mantelpiece giraffes out of 5

Lady Windermere's Fan (1892)

Author: Oscar Wilde  |  Page Count: 152*

"In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

The events in Oscar's play about a 'Good Woman’ occur over a twenty-four hour period in Victorian London. It's a short work, divided into four Acts: the time spent by Lady Windermere and her husband before a coming of age birthday ball hosted by the couple; the party itself; the aftermath; and the resolutions of the following morning/afternoon. That's ample time for drama and scandal to erupt.

The ball is attended by a select gentry, but strip away the mannered social standings and tailored suits and it's like every party everywhere, filled with two-faced gossip, hypocrisy, nonchalance, indignation and unwarranted observations by caustic people who would chide a speaker for doing the same. The self-indulgent concerns of rich-folks could've been a real bore if not for Oscar's piercing wit to spice it up; he made the verbal meanderings of dull people seem exciting. Under attack are the conventions of marriage, among other things.

The juxtapositions and sarcasms that Wilde enjoys so much aren't just decorative flair, they serve a deeper function whereby reversals act as commentary on the characters from which they originate, and as a singularly reflective study of a particular stratum of society as a whole. It highlights that quite often judgements designed to protect us are secretly used to elevate us in status. Within that is also the notion that impressions can (and often do) be wrong.

His skill at both staging and critiquing his own content evolved in later works, but there's no denying that LWF is an excellent piece when viewed in isolation.

It's been said by some critics that in many of his works the 'voice' of the author overshadows all other concerns, and in LWF it's so obvious that you'll spot it without needing any help. Personally, I don't have a problem with it happening.

3½ late lessons out of 5

*Kindle ebook edition, but page count will vary greatly depending on the publisher.  I've seen editions for sale with as little as 52 pages.  As long as you have all four Acts of the play then you're golden.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (c.1595-96)

Author: William Shakespeare  |  Page Count: 120

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,

And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

AMND is a confusing first read for a lot of people; it certainly was for me many years ago. It seems as if there are too many characters to keep track of, but there really isn't. A common hurdle is that a large portion of the play focuses on two men and two women. The two men are both in love with the same woman, a woman who loves just one of the men. There's a second woman in love with one of the men that loves the first woman. You follow?

That, believe it or not, isn't the confusing part. The real head-fuck comes when the King of Faerie, Oberon, or more precisely his loyal aide, the pernicious fairy Puck, gets involved. There's a mix-up with a love potion and then everything goes tits-up. If you can see it performed on stage do so, because it really helps.

Leaving that aside, it's a comedy, so there's laughs, right? Oh, yes; most of which spring from the staging of a play within the play. Things are getting puzzling again. Sorry. The short version: there's a level of unnecessary self-censorship and second-guessing that reaches absurdist levels, many unlucky coincidences, a clingy lover or two, much innuendo, and a butt-load of ass jokes.

It's set in Athens but it's believed that Shakespeare wasn't particularly well-travelled, so his exotic locations can feel more like they're just down the road from Stratford-upon-Avon. But that, I guess, just adds to the comedic value.

4 love-shafts out of 5

Mrs Fry's Diary (2010)

Author: Mrs Stephen Fry  | Page Count: 346

‘We told the kids a homicidal clown lives in their wardrobe today.  It wasn't an April Fool, we just thought they should know.’

Mrs Fry’s Diary is a diary by Mrs Fry, the fictional wife of the recipient of the reincarnated wit of Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry.  Edna, as she’s also known, is oblivious to her husband's career as a television and radio personality.  She believes him to be an occasional window cleaner, taxi driver, avid collector of Razzle magazine and part-time father to her six kids.  (Or is it seven?  She’s not entirely sure.)  Her struggles and flashes of insight are recorded on a daily basis, and when read chronologically they become a kind of story.

I've read a small number of books written in a diary format, and out of curiosity have even used it myself on one occasion, but I'm definitely not a fan of it.  It's difficult to engage with the start / stop nature of the narrative.  It’s like reading twitter.  Apparently Mrs Fry is a popular tweeter.  That was news to me.  Unlike Stephen, I have nothing nice to say about Twitter at all but it doesn't look like it’s going to go away any time soon, more's the pity.

Anyhow, back to the book.  There are dozens of subtle references to Stephen’s career both past and present buried in the wordplay that long-time fans will get extra chuckles from, knowledge of which isn't a prerequisite but will definitely make a reading more enjoyable.  It’ll also help if you’re able to spot references to other famous literary works, and know what tinned Spam tastes like.

3 pitchers of Dorian Gray tea out of 5

The Guild: Volume 1 (2010)

Author: Felicia Day | Page Count: 93

I have all the tools to live life to the fullest. 
As soon as I get happy, I'm raring to go!
Am I there yet?

I loved The Guild and yet had no idea it existed in comic form. I snatched it right up. This is a collection of comics 1 through 3 that detail the origins of the guild as we follow Cyd Sherman; a meek and timid girl who uses gaming to escape the pressures of her real life that include underemployment, a douchebag boyfriend and general lack of control. That sounds kind of heavy, but it is first and foremost a comedy like it's web video counterpart. The underlying emotion though helps with a connection to the character since it feels real. Since the whole concept of the Guild is partly autobiographical to author Felicia Day's own experience with gaming compulsion it is not hard to see how she could be so well versed in how it is to be able to translate it onto paper.

The artwork is crisp and vibrant and is also scattered with various artists work from the original comic covers and bonus art in the bonus section of the back. The series characters come out very well onto paper with their special mix of comedy and antisocial sociopathic tendencies. As Cyd delves further into her growing addiction she comes across all her guildmates forming something akin to human interaction that seems to solve some of her social faults, even if her therapist disagrees. Overall, a quality book in story, art and even the physical paper itself. So glossy, mmm, I can see my fingerprints when the light shines on them.

4 accidental acts of arson out of 5

The Pocket Book of Boosh (2009)

Author: Various (inc. Noel Fielding & Julian Barratt) | Page Count: 304

"…prose so taught you can feel the veins."

If you liked The Mighty Boosh TV Series, then you'll probably like this. Provided you like books. And can read. If you can't read, there are pictures. It even has a comic book featuring Rudy and Spider.

The content is exactly the same as The Mighty Book of Boosh, which came first, and was bigger. This one came second, and is smaller. I shit you not. That's as complicated as it gets.

3 Ol’ Gregg watercolours out of 5

The Deeper Meaning of Liff (1990)

Author: Douglas Adams & John Lloyd | Page Count: 146

A revised and expanded version of the previous edition, which was called simply The Meaning of Liff (1983). It’s a dictionary of things there aren't any words for yet. All those little hells that torment us each day and the simple pleasures that make life bearable are accounted for. It’s impossible to describe properly, so a few examples will have to suffice. (There should be a word to describe writing a review about a book that is impossible to describe properly.)

• Gulberwick (n.): The small particle that you always think you've got stuck at the back of your throat after you've been sick.
• Acklins (pl. n.): The odd twinges you get in parts of your body when you scratch other parts.

If you know Douglas Adams' work you'll know that he labours over every word, sometimes for days. If you're new to his brand of humour, this is a good place to start. If you happen to be Scottish (that's not an insult) you'll find even more to laugh about than the rest of us.

• Skibbereen (n.): The noise made by a sunburned thigh leaving a plastic chair.
• Keele (n.): The horrible smell caused by washing ashtrays.

You can read half a page with a minor titter or maybe a half-smile, and then without warning you'll piss yourself royally at a particularity poignant and wry observation. It’s perfect for leaving in the shitter for those times when you expect to be two minutes but end up twiddling your thumbs for twenty minutes with nary a toot from your anus. Curses!

5 doses of best medicine out of 5

A Brief History of Underpants (2008)

Author: Timothy James Brown | Page Count: 128

"Some extremists refused to let their patriarchal oppressors remove their trunks before stuffing them with fire-lighters."

The book takes the view that underpants are hilarious. It proposes that underpants played a key role in shaping great historic events. It tries to convince the reader that it's the most piss-inducing, rib-tickling piece of prose ever written. Farting in a lift is sometimes funny. Urinating in the frozen food aisle of Tesco may even raise a titter. But underpants don’t. It's 128 glossy pages that smelt funny, half of which contain, I quote, "…some spectacular pictures of pants," is the author’s idea of a quality read. Thank Christ I only paid 49p for it.

American readers should note that "pants" in Britain is short for "underpants." The phrase "ants in your pants" is much more terrifying to us than to you. And when you ask, "does my fanny look big in these pants?" we have been known to occasionally drop our chips.

0½ for Raquel Welsh in her furry bikini out of 5

Qi: The Book of General Ignorance (2006)

Author: John Lloyd and John Mitchinson  |  Page Count: 320

Qi (Quite interesting) is a television series hosted by the always entertaining and rather dapper Stephen Fry.  It’s a panel game / quiz show that'll make you laugh while presenting some obscure fact about jellyfish or bread rolls.  If you’re lucky it'll have a story involving jellyfish and bread rolls together that'll cause funny-man Alan Davies to bring great shame upon his curly head... bless his follicles.

The book is co-authored by the creator of the show, so it’s not just a quick cash-in, it’s the real deal.  It collects together a wealth of trivia about all things unusual, some wickedly cruel and some very mundane things you didn't know you wanted to learn more about.  It’s broken up into digestible chucks.  Each topic is typically just one page in length.  Some are only half a page but still manage to squeeze in enough info to justify their inclusion.  Topics are the usual general knowledge categories: history, science, religion, food, geography, geology, etc.  It even sheds light on whether or not a Jaffa Cake is really a cake or simply a biscuit.

It’s written for people who speak the Queen's English, so Americans may well get a little lost at times.  I make no allegations.  If you’re not convinced you need a book of general ignorance, ask yourself this question: Who wouldn't want to know which insect has a penis that snaps off in times of stress?

Buy it.  Eat it.  Regurgitate the trivia at your friends during lunch break.  They'll love you from afar.  Leave it in the shitter and learn while you birth a log.  It has exactly 101 uses.  It’s really Quite Interesting.

5 slices of French Toast (but is it really French?) out of 5

MBQ Volume 3 (2007)

Author: Felipe Smith | Page Count: 232

"Gat Damn! You reek of dog anus!"

The third and last of the volumes brings Omario's story to a close of sorts. Omario's brash attitude is endangering his friendships and a chance encounter with a fellow artist combined with a costly repair job forces him to rethink his priorities. Also Officer Aiden may be reaching his psychological breaking point as the violence in the seedy underworld of the city ramps up.

All stories not featuring Omario have now severed all connection and are now a completely separate story. This makes the underworld violence shocking, but ultimately inconsequential as it doesn't affect Omario in the slightest. The now separate stories are nice even if they now seem to be page filler or I'm looking at it the wrong way and Aiden was always a 2nd main character. If that's the case, he didn't get near enough face-time to convincingly wrap up his plot. Bad form there, but Smith is more artist than writer so I let it slide since his humor and action scenes are in top form and there is a nice message at the end there in Omario's epiphany that all volumes have been working toward.

3½ Showing up a douchebag in front of his ladies with a rose made of $100 bills out of 5

The Huge Book of Hell (2005)

Author: Matt Groening | Page Count: 157

“I wrote you three times but you never sent me a drawing of Marge Simpson naked.”

A collection of single page sketches culled from Matt Groening's Life in Hell comic strip. It’s difficult to review because comedy is one of the most subjective mediums, so the success of the collection is primarily based on whether you can connect or appreciate Groening’s sense of humour or not.

Stylistically, it has his unique stamp on every page. If you're a fan of the Simpsons, or if it's all you know him from. then you'll recognise and be comfortable with the art style; there's even more than one cameo from some of the cast.

It’s full of wry observations on life, work and family, ironic and sardonic situation jokes and astute political commentary, but unless you agree, disagree or have personally experienced such situations then the impact may be lessened.

It's a mixed bag; some panels work beautifully and some lack spark. For me, it was mostly 'meh', never reaching the heights of Jim Davis or the wonderful Gary Larsen. I can’t complain, though, I got it new in a book sale for less than the cost of an average priced bar of chocolate. Plus, it has bunnies. We like bunnies.

2½ and good for killing time on the shitter out of 5

MBQ Volume 1 (2005)

Author: Felipe Smith | Page Count: 220

"Something personal is original. Doing what everyone else is doing is not... Instead of trying to create the next original hit, they merely imitate past hits. The result is a lame, uniform, unvarying, unchanging industry. I'm not gonna do that. That's why I don't have a job."

Omario is a struggling artist trying to make ends meet in the City of Angels. While he is passionate about his chosen profession, that passion hasn't translated into success. He is encouraged on by his gentle giant roommate Jeff, an employee at McBurger Queen. While trying to make his share of the rent Omario runs afoul of some of the worst Los Angeles has to offer including drug dealers, cops and violence.

Given Felipe Smith's experience as a starving artist, this is probably at least semi-autobiographical. It explains why Omario's character and motivations are so clear since he is at least partially an insertion of Smith himself. The other characters don't get nearly as much development, but it is still a good story with a bit of action mixed with tragic comedy. This mixture is a strange one, but it is inline with the above quote where Omario vents his frustration at the state of modern comics and manga. Not perfect, but good and entertaining. I don't regret buying it just for the coupon for a free In-N-Out Double Double that came with it.

4 Ball Chomping Chihuahuas out of 5