The Hellbound Heart (1986)

Author: Clive Barker  |  Page Count: 128

'Everywhere, in the wreckage around him, he found evidence to support the same bitter thesis: that he had encountered nothing in his life—no person, no state of mind or body—he wanted sufficiently to suffer even passing discomfort for.'

The novella that became more famous for being filmed as Hellraiser (1987) by Barker himself is a fine example of how good an author he used to be. His prose effectively blends the fantastical with an exploration of the common from an uncommon perspective. In Frank Cotton Barker created a character for whom hedonistic desire has exceeded earthly pleasures, forcing him to cross an unseen border into the realms of the unknown: a meeting with the Order of the Gash.

The Cenobites, as they're more often referred to, are creatures for whom dealings in pleasure are a currency and a privilege, but their definitions of what pleasures of the flesh entail long ago exceeded the human sadomasochistic scale.

There are only four main characters. Unlike Frank the other three aren't as seasoned or as inherently obsessive in their pursuits. Their world is smaller. They're regular people with regular needs. Part of what makes them interesting is that, while each person's desire is different, they're tangled up together: two are in a loveless marriage, while the third is dealing with feelings of unrequited love. Everyone, including the antagonist Frank, craves something that only exists outside of themselves, and some of them dare to reach for it.

As first chapters go it's one of his more repulsive ones. The calculated grossness continues in the same vein throughout. You get the feeling that Barker has visualised the scenes so completely that he was able to move around within them, see them from all angles and even, on occasion, smell their vileness.

The Pinhead character that has become the hideous figurehead of the film series isn't in the book, or rather isn't the same as the one film fans will be familiar with. Putting his image on the cover was a cheap lure by Harper Collins. But I do love the unifying border design they used across all their early Barker books.

4 perverse logics out of 5

The Physics of Star Trek (1995)

Author: Lawrence Krauss  |  Page Count: 188

'Thanks to Albert Einstein and those who have followed in his footsteps, the very fabric of spacetime is filled with drama.'

It's common knowledge that Star Trek not only 'boldly' ignored the laws of grammar, but that it wilfully ignored the laws of physics, too, However, in some instances the real-world science behind the fictional quick-fixes is surprisingly close to the TV show technobabble. Most fans will know why transporters were introduced, but not how they would theoretically work. TPoST provides answers.

It doesn't set out to debunk or discredit TV writers—it's not trying to achieve credibility by standing on the ashes of others—instead it aims to inform and explore the reality of what would be needed to achieve the life-changing physics used in the show. It's not just another boring cash-in / tie-in / stick-the-arm-in book designed to milk the wallets of every weak-willed Trek fan ever.

Thankfully, you won't need a degree in quantum mechanics to make sense of the text, but some basic high school science knowledge will help. If you know why Newton owes a debt to an apple, or why Einstein is more than a black and white poster in a student dig, then you're all set. I don't know if true physicists or mathematicians would agree, but for an average Joe like me the structure of the book is a credit to the author. Complex theories are built bit by bit atop a foundation of easier concepts, making it very easy to follow.

Not everything pertaining to a hobby or interest need pander to its target audience. Often the best additions are the ones that teach us something of value at the same time, whether it be academic or emotional. I think a large percentage of Trek fans would agree with that statement because even if Paramount weren't in it to challenge norms and teach by example, Gene was, and the people he reached keep that vision alive. Ultimately, TPoST is perfect for Trek fans who possess a passion for learning and have an interest in the wonder of science.

4 cosmic poker games out of 5

The Dark Tower: The Little Sisters of Eluria (1998)

Author: Stephen King | Page Count: 66

'She might be a good nurse, and fair, but Roland thought her a poor liar. He was glad. Good liars were common. Honesty, on the other hand, came dear.'

Before beginning the Dark Tower books King was primarily known as a horror writer. The Dark Tower was a departure from that. It's essentially a Western wedded to a traditional Tolkien-esque fantasy, wherein the journey is of more importance than the destination. The reason I mention all of that is because the horror that he used to do so well can be strongly felt in this short piece. It creeps in tentatively at first but takes hold quickly. It's a fantasy-western-horror novella, and it works. It feels like an experiment that really paid off. It's perhaps the freshest instalment he's delivered since the very first book.

I'm not going to bother with a synopsis because if you've read previous Dark Tower books then you'll already know if you want to read more. Nothing will change that. But if you're new to Mid-World, it'd be best not to start your journey here. It's primarily for readers with an existing knowledge of the series.

It starts out like a choose-your-own-adventure book that has had all the choices already made by someone else, but that's simply to get gunslinger Roland Deschain to where King needs him to be; the shorter format necessitates it. It also forces him to trim the waffle he usually spews, making this work a fast-paced adventure that left me wanting more.

NOTE: The short was released one year after Vol IV: Wizard and Glass (1997) but takes place before Vol I: The Gunslinger (1982). Does that make it the earliest of Roland's adventures chronologically? No, because it also confusingly takes place sometime after the events in Mejis, mentioned in Wizard and Glass. That places it prior the formation of the ka-tet, but after the Susan Delgado time period.

3½ thoughtful houses out of 5

2010: Odyssey Two (1982)

Author: Arthur C. Clarke | Page Count: 297

"Moods and emotions were leaking into his own consciousness, though he could not identify any specific concepts or ideas. It was as if he were listening, outside a closed door, to a debate in progress, and in a language he could not understand."

2010: Odyssey Two is a direct sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) but it's not that simple. Stanley Kubrick's filmed version of 2001 had some minor but significant differences from the novel. The second book mostly follows on from the film, not the novel, so we're returning to Jupiter and Io, not to Saturn and Iapetus. If you bypass the film and come direct from the first book, then you'll be confused and perhaps angry at the discrepancies and apparent lack of continuity.

Dr. Heywood Floyd, a scientist mentioned previously in 2001, is determined to understand the fate of the Spaceship Discovery and its crew, so a second mission is launched in order to intercept the Discovery, which has remained dead in Jupiter's orbit for the past nine years. Along for the ride is Dr. Chandra, the creator of the H.A.L 9000 computer. In Kubrick's film he was called Mr. Langley.

Clarke isn't very good at characterisation this time. When he breaks from hard sci-fi in an attempt to offer some insight into the crew it feels forced, and there's a lot more crew aboard this time. They offer ample opportunity for tension and drama but he never fully avails of it. Most of the time he uses an expositive cold narrative in place of proper dialogue that keeps the characters two dimensional. Some of the lesser characters have no function other than to fill a necessary scientific role so that Clarke can extrapolate about scientific principles that may or may not be wholly relevant to the plot. In retrospect, the absence of dialogue is what helped make the first half of the 2001 novel so successful.

While critical of his ability to develop characters, I can't fault his passion for detailing new worlds and forms of life. His brain seemed more attuned to receiving creative input from a scientific perspective than from a dramatic one. If you accept that and embrace the science-head aspect of it, at the expense of a satisfactory human element, you can get sucked into Clarke's vision more easily.

Personally, I didn't want to know what became of Dave, I liked the uncertainty, but I was eager for more of H.A.L.

3 problematic epilogues out of 5

Badass: A Relentless Onslaught of the Toughest Warlords, Vikings, Samurai, Pirates, Gunfighters and Military Commanders to Ever Live (2009)

Author: Ben Thompson | Page Count: 337

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.

Badass is a book written by Ben Thompson as an extension of his website chronicling historical figures who excelled at what they do whether it be combat, science, espionage or just generally being awesome. The book contains 40 chapters each telling the story of one historical figure with articles arranged by time period from antiquity to the modern age.

Rather than a boring history lesson though, Thompson gives these awesome stories the interesting enthusiasm they deserve by punching up the stories with his laid-back writing style filled with hyperbolic analogies and profanity-laced pop culture similes making history somewhat less stodgy. The text is never boring or overwhelming like staring into a textbook in class and is easily digestible with short, to-the-point chapters (unlike the mouthful of a title) and various extras like fun facts, various illustrations and some personal commentary. If history is your thing, then you'll probably enjoy this and if it's not your thing then you still might appreciate the stories in this much more entertaining format.

3½ Spinal cords ripped out through the urethra out of 5

Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

Author: Ray Bradbury | Page Count: 172

"Go home and think of your first husband divorced and your second husband killed in a jet and your third husband blowing his brains out, go home and think of the dozen abortions you’ve had, go home and think of that and your damn Caesarian sections, too, and your children who hate your guts! Go home and think how it all happened and what did you ever do to stop it?"

Fahrenheit 451 tells of a time when the written word is anathema, books are burned for their heretic meanings and too much knowledge is forbidden. If one man is smarter than another it makes the other man feel shame and inadequacy. The state doesn't want that; they want everyone to be happy; everyone to be the same; no one to question the equilibrium or to protest.

Television is the dominant information medium, delivering sound and fury but saying nothing and meaning even less.

Life slithers along under a coloured blanket; the colour is grey and occasionally the colour of flame, but only if you try to think for yourself.

If you dare to own a book the firemen will come and burn it (and your home) because that’s what firemen do. It’s what they've always did, isn't it? Montag asks that question and the consequences of such an independent, suffering thought turn his life into an inferno of frightened indecision and instinctual abrupt actions.

It's a dystopian novel but that doesn't mean it’s depressing. Bradbury doesn't do depressing. He does heartfelt and cordial emotion, tinged with a beautiful sadness that touches your heart in a very special way. You can read an entire page effortlessly because his prose flows like water over glass, but stop and take the time to examine the words and you’ll be amazed at their strength and subtle power. I'm in awe of the great man’s ability to mould such a crude language into something so beautifully understated. It's a short book but has enduring ideas that have the potential to remain with the reader forever.

If I was to be burned for owning a book it would be for owning F451.

5 families in the TV out of 5

The Atrocity Exhibition (1970)

Author: J. G. Ballard | Page Count: 184 

'The blitzkriegs will be fought out on the spinal battlefields, in terms of the postures we assume, of our traumas mimetized in the angle of a wall or balcony.'

The Atrocity Exhibition is one one of the finest examples of the English experimental novel. There's no obvious start/middle/end structure. You can flick to any page and start reading to get an immediate feel for the overall style and perspective of the work; doing just that is something Ballard recommends.

The thematic merging of sexual excitement, death of celebrity, architecture and the evils of consumer society are explored as only he could, without deference to the social consciousness or exhibiting shame.

It's an obtuse book that'll only begin to make sense the more you begin to adopt his point of view and look at your own life as the protagonist views his. I'm not saying you should get your jollies watching automobile crashes or the removal of the top of Kennedy's head - I mean appreciating the minutiae of life, being aware of the lack of difference in things at their most basic level.

The protagonist, Talbert, Travis, Talbot, Traven (his name changes frequently, depending on where he is or what he's doing) looks upon a poster of a dune but the anatomist in him sees as an outsized female pudenda; the point where two walls merge can be a sexual thing; central nervous systems have been externalised as roads; the assassination of Kennedy encapsulates everything that's wrong and right with the world - not from a political point of view, but from a universal constant. It's complex but also equally rewarding, particularly the second half, if you can set aside your teachings and embrace its unique structure.

If you've ever enjoyed the works of William Burroughs or Anthony Burgess, then maybe Ballard will fit into your life and onto your shelf.

Note: I recommend the Fourth Estate edition published by Harper Collins, it has extended notes by the author that offer extra insight into the creation of many of the stories, and much of it is even more interesting than the novel.

5 roads that lead to celebrity death out of 5

The Huge Book of Hell (2005)

Author: Matt Groening | Page Count: 157

“I wrote you three times but you never sent me a drawing of Marge Simpson naked.”

A collection of single page sketches culled from Matt Groening's Life in Hell comic strip. It’s difficult to review because comedy is one of the most subjective mediums, so the success of the collection is primarily based on whether you can connect or appreciate Groening’s sense of humour or not.

Stylistically, it has his unique stamp on every page. If you're a fan of the Simpsons, or if it's all you know him from. then you'll recognise and be comfortable with the art style; there's even more than one cameo from some of the cast.

It’s full of wry observations on life, work and family, ironic and sardonic situation jokes and astute political commentary, but unless you agree, disagree or have personally experienced such situations then the impact may be lessened.

It's a mixed bag; some panels work beautifully and some lack spark. For me, it was mostly 'meh', never reaching the heights of Jim Davis or the wonderful Gary Larsen. I can’t complain, though, I got it new in a book sale for less than the cost of an average priced bar of chocolate. Plus, it has bunnies. We like bunnies.

2½ and good for killing time on the shitter out of 5

The Homecoming (2006)

Author: Ray Bradbury | Illustrator: Dave McKean | Page Count: 56

'And to roars of laughter the chilly hand and the cold moon face lurched away in the roundabout dance.'

Part of the WISP series (Wonderfully Illustrated Short Pieces), Homecoming is a meeting of two exceptionally creative minds: American author Ray Bradbury and British illustrator Dave McKean. The former is my favourite American author; I can connect many of the significant moments in my life to a particular Bradbury novel I was reading at the time. McKean is perhaps best known for—and partly responsible for—the  enduring success of The Sandman comic book series. Both are giants in their respective field.

The text, featuring a ten-year-old boy named Timothy, was originally included in The October Country (1955), a collection of macabre-themed shorts. Timothy is a normal kid with normal thoughts. That's the problem. The rest of his family are vampires, ghouls, and things that bump in the night.

During All Hallows' Eve the family gather for an old fashioned get-together, but Timothy's being normal means he feels different, unable to fit in. It's a reversal of the usual 'weird kid that doesn't fit into society' tale and Bradbury finds the heart of the story effortlessly without sacrificing the innocence and beauty of childhood. Thematically, it's about family, identity, love, and the magic of youth.

It's not McKean's best work but it fits the aesthetic of the story for which it was designed, with scribble lines and dark shadows prevalent. In truth, even without the illustrations, it would be a top scoring tale.

5 smiles for Uncle Einar out of 5