The Deeper Meaning of Liff (1990)

Author: Douglas Adams & John Lloyd | Page Count: 146

A revised and expanded version of the previous edition, which was called simply The Meaning of Liff (1983). It’s a dictionary of things there aren't any words for yet. All those little hells that torment us each day and the simple pleasures that make life bearable are accounted for. It’s impossible to describe properly, so a few examples will have to suffice. (There should be a word to describe writing a review about a book that is impossible to describe properly.)

• Gulberwick (n.): The small particle that you always think you've got stuck at the back of your throat after you've been sick.
• Acklins (pl. n.): The odd twinges you get in parts of your body when you scratch other parts.

If you know Douglas Adams' work you'll know that he labours over every word, sometimes for days. If you're new to his brand of humour, this is a good place to start. If you happen to be Scottish (that's not an insult) you'll find even more to laugh about than the rest of us.

• Skibbereen (n.): The noise made by a sunburned thigh leaving a plastic chair.
• Keele (n.): The horrible smell caused by washing ashtrays.

You can read half a page with a minor titter or maybe a half-smile, and then without warning you'll piss yourself royally at a particularity poignant and wry observation. It’s perfect for leaving in the shitter for those times when you expect to be two minutes but end up twiddling your thumbs for twenty minutes with nary a toot from your anus. Curses!

5 doses of best medicine out of 5

Qi: The Book of General Ignorance (2006)

Author: John Lloyd and John Mitchinson  |  Page Count: 320

Qi (Quite interesting) is a television series hosted by the always entertaining and rather dapper Stephen Fry.  It’s a panel game / quiz show that'll make you laugh while presenting some obscure fact about jellyfish or bread rolls.  If you’re lucky it'll have a story involving jellyfish and bread rolls together that'll cause funny-man Alan Davies to bring great shame upon his curly head... bless his follicles.

The book is co-authored by the creator of the show, so it’s not just a quick cash-in, it’s the real deal.  It collects together a wealth of trivia about all things unusual, some wickedly cruel and some very mundane things you didn't know you wanted to learn more about.  It’s broken up into digestible chucks.  Each topic is typically just one page in length.  Some are only half a page but still manage to squeeze in enough info to justify their inclusion.  Topics are the usual general knowledge categories: history, science, religion, food, geography, geology, etc.  It even sheds light on whether or not a Jaffa Cake is really a cake or simply a biscuit.

It’s written for people who speak the Queen's English, so Americans may well get a little lost at times.  I make no allegations.  If you’re not convinced you need a book of general ignorance, ask yourself this question: Who wouldn't want to know which insect has a penis that snaps off in times of stress?

Buy it.  Eat it.  Regurgitate the trivia at your friends during lunch break.  They'll love you from afar.  Leave it in the shitter and learn while you birth a log.  It has exactly 101 uses.  It’s really Quite Interesting.

5 slices of French Toast (but is it really French?) out of 5